Food and Motherhood

So, I used to really enjoy eating. I grew up in a culture where food was an important relational tool; we ate dinner together most every night. My mom is an amazing cook with a knack for menu choice. I still love going home to her meals. I remember cooking with her in the kitchen every once in a while growing up (I was mostly outside playing with my brothers :)) and listening to her tell me tips I use today when cooking.

So, we have the fabulous dinners my mother would make, but then there's coffee time. My dad calls it "trinken"; I'm not sure if that's German or not, but it sounds German to me. Coffee trinken is our afternoon treat that developed in our family far before I enjoyed it I'm sure. My dad would go to Lubby's cafeteria in Las Cruces to grade papers after school, and occasionally I got to join him for a cinnamon roll and red pen. So dad has been doing this coffee trinken forever, and it is now a staple meal for our family. It is important, and when we are all home together, we observe it.

I developed my own coffee time as a single and became addicted to coffee and a treat in the afternoon, but when I got pregnant I developed a serious aversion to coffee. Oh well, that was ok because I really didn't want sweets or coffee in my nauseous state. I had the baby; oh good! Now I can enjoy coffee. No. Caffeiene does a serious number to my milk supply, which is already low. Ok, maybe decaf? Nope, I can't have any caffeienated beverages. Alright, I can sacrafice and maybe have some herbal tea, but the whole point of my telling this story is that in this particular season of my life I don't have time to enjoy eating the way I once did. I used to love to prepare meals and sit down for my afternoon treat and read a little, but now our schedule doesn't allow for such frivolities. The time will come back around when I can sit down at the table and enjoy some coffee again, but right now I am slave to a different schedule, but not begrudgingly. I love Daniel so much and I can say that it is completely worth it, but this is just another example of how my expectations of being a mom were not accurate. How could they be, anyway?

Then there are those momemts where eating is just a task; I am so tired that I don't want to eat, but my body says I must. I never thought I would view eating as a chore to be done and not really want to do it....