Cory's Birthday and Easter

Cory turned 31 on April 3rd. Happy Birthday is best said with cheesecake!

Feeding the geese at Schramm Park and Fish Hatchery

I remember a picture like this of Daniel's cousin Anna Kate. Fun bath time!

Davison is 2 months old!

Daniel and his Young family cousins on the porch swing, Easter day. 

Picture with the grandkids on Easter Sunday. 

We put Davison in the bumbo for the first time! His neck is still not quite strong 

enough to spend a very long time in there. 

Easter egg hunting at grandma and grandpa's. We used the eggs that Reese and Liam dyed. 

Basketball is one of Daniel's favorite activities. He points out every basketball hoop that he can see when we are driving and walking around. 

Davison is Here!

Daniel loved my big belly. He would lift up his shirt and lift up mine and press his tummy against me. It was so cute!

Here he is, moments after birth. The Lord truly blessed our whole birth process, and things went beautifully in the tub. 

Going home from the birth center. 

Daniel loves his little brother! He frequently asks to hold him; "I wanna hold it", and then promptly says, while pushing him away, "Baby's cryning". I tried to spell it the way he says it, but it's hard to hear! Overall he is so sweet with him and really loves to see him first thing in the morning. 

Grandma Sheehan comes for a visit. Davison is being such a big boy, sitting quietly. 

Auntie Sarah came too! She was the first out-of-towner to meet Davison, and got to help us through our 2nd week with him home. What help family is!

Daniel's 2!!!

Family photo on Daniel's birthday. 

Opening presents in the living room. 

Part of Daniel's dinosaur collection from dad and mom. 

Family and friends at the party. 

Playing downstairs with friends at the birthday party. 

So, desserts are my thing, right? I mean, I love to eat them. I was trying to plan Daniel's cake, because you gotta have cake at a birthday party, but I knew he wouldn't eat it. So, I thought of alternative desserts, but the problem is, Daniel really isn't into dessert. Cookies, pie, pudding - they don't really do it for him, and he may take a bite of ours, but he doesn't run for them. He likes fig newtons. He may have enjoyed a couple while running around at the party, but I didn't think want to go that route. So, I decided to make something for the rest of us, which did turn out nice, but I feel kinda bad now. Daniel didn't even take one bite of the peppermint ice cream cake. I had candy, which Daniel had his fair share of, but when we blew out his candle, he didn't want to stay at the high chair and eat ice cream cake, so he got down and ran around. Another blunder: I didn't have any candles except the numbers 1, 3, and 0. Good one, Hannah. So, he had a number 1 candle to blow out, which is why I didn't post any pictures of that part. Next time, we'll skip the high chair and try REALLY hard to find a dessert that Daniel might take a couple of bites of in front of a crowd. The party was pretty fun, though, and I guess we're still learning, right?!

Christmas Morning 2012

This was Daniel's first gift Christmas morning! It continues to be a fun thing for him, although we are working on keeping it intact. In time.... :)

 Grandma and grandpa Lutterman were over for Christmas Eve and we opened a few gifts. It was a nice, relaxing night. 

Cory gave me a great white tea pot Christmas morning; so beautiful and I use it all the time. 

The nature box tower grandma and grandpa Sheehan sent Daniel. 

Daniel Sleeping

I have to show these off! I find Daniel in many positions when I come to cover him up at night, and these are a few that I have captured. 

The End of 2011

Well, it seems as though I have completely neglected this blog for a long while! I never intend to leave these fun things out of my daily schedule, but I am still learning how to manage my time as a mom.

Cory and I are about to add another little one to our family! We are 31 weeks pregnant, expecting a little boy or girl around Feb 5th. Daniel is 23 months old and I'm sure he suspects something is going on, but he really doesn't have a clue what is about to happen. He has been a little more clingy lately, and wanting more of our attention, so I wonder if he's getting the idea that change is on the horizon. I've been told that he'll struggle with a little sibling for a while, but then he'll learn the routine and it'll be fine. I know he'll be a great big brother.

Daniel is such a joy to us. He is learning so much, and his vocabulary is really exploding! He repeats so many phrases, and it is so cute to hear him try to say what we do. His new favorites are platypus, dragonfly, tugboat, mall-jump, and a variety of ball/sport-related terms, to name a few. He is very curious and is beginning to play quite well with our little kitchen and food items, finding things to spin on the floor, reading lots of books, and playing cars with daddy. He has always liked to play with balls and animal toys, and that hasn't changed. His awareness of the things that are going on around him amazes me. I cannot believe that he is already almost 2.

Cory and I are so blessed to have each other, and we are realizing more and more what a blessing it is to have a marriage that is founded by the Lord's grace and mercy. I love my husband so much, and he has been so supportive and helpful as we have ventured into parenthood. I look forward to being parents of two together!

I hope that this blog becomes more of a daily routine/event kinda page, but I just wanted to give an update since I haven't written in such a long time.

The First Year

Expectations: we all have them. It doesn't matter what we are thinking the expectations we have, or even if we truly recognize them and try to prepare ourselves for a different outcome, we can still be completely caught off guard.Motherhood was one thing that I thought I was prepared for. I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. My first imagination play memories are with my little brothers playing house, doctor, or office. I wanted to be a pediatrician from when I was 5 until like 16 because I thought I liked kids so much. I was a great babysitter when I was young because I loved to play with the kids I watched. Things surrounding parenthood became clearer as I lived life and went through college, and I wasn't sure I loved kids as much as I used to, or I just wasn't sure how to handle them. I became more selfish with my time, but I concluded that when I had my one child I would love them to pieces and everything would be fine. And I LOVE babies! I work in a labor and delivery unit, and I truly enjoy being part of maternal/child care. I thought this job would have prepared me a little better....

I first noticed this anxiety when breastfeeding was not going as planned and I was trying to recover from my labor experience, but it has continued long past weaning D

aniel and coming to terms with labor. Both those situations have taken me a considerable amount of time to process through, and I believe that the Holy Spirit has truly allowed me to acknowledge the pain of both situations and move on. I have just recently been able to let go of the fact that I wasn't able to nurse my son the way I wanted to. This was something that I was in no way prepared for. I was prepared for lack of sleep or pain or feeling separated from society for a while or having to adjust our marriage, but nobody told me my milk supply might not be sufficient, and it killed me. But, God is gracious, and I was recently told by someone who listened to me through my struggle that it was time to let it go.

Well, I'm writing this all to say that I have been spinning around and trying to stay standing for most of this year. I know that those close to me have heard me speak of anxiety and inability to cope like I have in the past, but I really want to come to terms with how this year has gone. I have attributed most of this to lack of sleep and hormone imbalance. I thought for sure that my thyroid was off kilter, but when I had it checked this spring, I learned that it was not the culprit.

I am still not sure what the true reason is for all of my emotional disruption this year, but I am willing to accept the fact that I believe I have suffered from postpartum depression. I never wanted to harm Daniel or not care for him (that has always been my interpretation of ppdepression), but I have struggled intensely to adapt to the daily cares of a child and lack of sleep.

Daniel is such a wonderful boy, and I feel as though I am now able to truly enjoy him. I have had a wonderful ride watching him grow this year, but I have not been able to fully grasp the wonder of his life. I am asking the Lord to help me to cherish him more, that I might be able to guide him on his path, and teach him the ways of the Lord. Cory has been by my side this whole year and has supported me unconditionally as I've struggled along. I know there were times when I believed my body was betraying me, and that I was not the same person I knew myself to be. My emotions have been out of control at times, and Cory has helped me through it.

I really wanted to share this with you, my family, because I don't see many of you very often, and I know that my communication of these things and my acknowledgement of my struggle will help me to move on. I love you all very much!